Kate Baer's post "When You are Tightly Wound" has been making the rounds among some of my friends on Facebook. It's a great post in the tradition of "AAAACCCKKK!!! Parenting!!! Life!!!! How????" posts, which is a type of post that will always be needed and appreciated by generations of bloggers and blog readers worldwide (maybe especially where there's no paid leave*). I'm constantly cycling through thoughts of:
"I didn't do enough," and
"Who could really do it all anyway?" and
"Maybe I'm just not trying enough" and
"Maybe I'm trying enough and it's just too much for anyone..." and then the very dangerous
"But look at her, she did all that AND MORE" and then
"That's a bad habit, to compare yourself! Don't do that! We all live different experiences."
"...ok..."
"...but still..."
And then sometimes I get accusatory and start thinking in the third person, "Maybe you should try quieting your monkey mind like the Buddhists' practice, or maybe you should try babbling a prayer like the babbling Christian you are." Some days I forgive me for my own trespasses against myself, and some days I don't quite get there. * I have no doubt there's stress around family life around the world, but I put "American" because I was at a parents' caucus the other day where a mom from Africa expressed surprise and wonder at some of the things US parents go through, from childcare struggles to school food concerns. Always wonderfully illuminating to see one's own culture through outside eyes. *********************** Tweet your thoughts to @Anita_Sarah. Thank you!