Correspondence

Sometimes the spikes insist on being in focus and the flower lets them.

I've been thinking a lot about correspondence, and not only because I just finished The Correspondent audiobook, which came highly recommended from a fabulous manager at work. 

I haven't updated this blog in so long with work news, or any news, or any poems, or any musings. For awhile I'd been tired of slop on the internet and didn't want to think I was contributing to wasting anyone's time.

But I'd promised some friends I'd write something–anything–and post it here. So, dearly beloved, we are gathered here today. 

It's not that I haven't been writing. I've been writing daily, a practice for pleasure and for work. One of my favorite assignments ever came a few months ago, when a former colleague asked me to officiate her wedding. I was floored, and totally honored, and also a bit nervous. I needed to do right by this couple. But how could I do that when I hadn't met the spouse-to-be?

We would only have a few chances to speak before the ceremony, so I thought a lot about the time we did have. One of my core values is to ask good questions; it serves another core value, to not waste time. To pay attention, to be present. 

It didn't require meticulous attention to see how much these two delighted each other, how comfortable they were, and what a joy it would be to celebrate them. I focused on them as a writer–I listened for specific words they used to describe each other, noticed patterns in their storytelling, stayed alert to what seemed most tender for them. 

I wrote a ceremony from my heart, something that felt true to me about who they are and what kind of beauty they're creating in the world. They added in sections about each other, which they read to each other and the guests. 

It did feel a bit like hearing someone read a love letter–intimate, honest, courageous. An honorable correspondence. Correspondence is a word from medieval Latin meaning "to respond with," and first meant "to be in harmony or agreement." Startlingly apt for a wedding!

It makes me want to indulge in creating handwritten letters, postcards with doodles, spontaneous poems for friends. Let me know if you want to be pen pals.